Wisdom, Luck, and Anonymous Buyers

Teeth.

The only bones we're semi-casual about losing.

I first sold my bones on the black market to an anonymous buyer when I was about 5 years old.

The arrangement was, if I left the tooth at the pre-arranged drop off point (under my pillow) then the reward money (a gold coin) was left in exchange for collection the next day. This worked out pretty well for me until my supply stopped, and I got told by a friend at school that my anonymous buyer "wasn't real". That one hurt.

My next dance with my teeth came when it was time for me to have braces, having been called "shark tooth" for years at school (due to my unfortunate double row of front teeth), it was finally time for the 3 years of wire scaffolding, colourful rubber bands, and bone augmentation to begin.

The process was commenced by an appointment to remove 5 of my teeth: the last of my baby teeth, and 4 of my adult ones. The heart break in this story came when the dentist wouldn't let me keep my teeth afterwards.

He said 'a lovely young lady like you has no business keeping things like teeth' I stood there unable to move most of my face and dribbling, not feeling like a 'lovely young lady', and cried on the way home.

When my torture period ended, and my teeth had been homogenized, the first meal I wanted to eat was a plate of ribs from lone star.

Cut to 12 or so years later, I was at work one day, and I remember feeling part of my tooth come out and seeing the black hole in it.

This caused an emergency dentist's appointment, where he told me I HAD TO HAVE 4 FILLINGS RIGHT NOW or else my teeth were going to infect my gums.

Thus began the worst year of dental work I've ever had, 3k later, and it all ended with me in a chair having one of my teeth removed.

I have never experienced fear like that before.

Not necessarily mental fear, I knew that I was safe, I knew that he had done this procedure a million times, and I knew it would financially ruin me.

What I didn't expect to encounter was the CHILL that went down my body when they finally pulled the tooth out.

I can only imagine that THAT was the feeling the jedi's referred to as a 'disturbance in the force'. I went from calm to clammy immediately. Water literally gushed from my hands and across my brow and upper lip, my temperature dropped suddenly, and I felt this deep hollow feeling. I'm not being dramatic I stg I thought I was going to throw up.

This dentist did let me keep my tooth. It lives on my fridge at my flat. I haven't decided what it will be used for yet. But I love it with all my heart. A symbol of my strength and of my pain.

Somewhere along the line an artist friend of mine Rosanna, (@strangeandmisguided) made these beautiful necklaces with pearls, garnet, and these beautifully realistic clay teeth. I purchased one immediately. I wore it every single day until it broke, and it's currently back with her for repairs.

Rosanna's art has a lot of teeth in it as well. I feel we could probably have quite a long coffee date to talk about them.

I haven't stopped thinking about this tooth necklace as my lucky charm. I've deeply missed it. I felt more powerful, more intimidating, freakier with it in my stride. I'd often get asked whether it was a real tooth or not, to which I would reply, no, but gosh doesn't it look real!

In China they believe wearing teeth is extremely lucky, until they break - almost like an evil eye.

Justin Quinnell, a photographer who builds pinhole cameras, has a series of photographs called "Mouthpiece" from one of his cameras he built that could fit in his mouth. These photos are so exciting to me. They're hilarious and gruesome and I love the format. All photographs bear the back of his teeth and have the most eerie but nostalgic 90s feel. It includes this photo "Louis getting to know his dad" which I just think is one of my favorite photos I've ever seen. It's so funny!

Torbjørn Rødland, on the other hand, is a photographer who explores the sensory nightmare of having a body and describes teeth as “a symbol for intuitive fears and irrational anxieties”

His work is less ‘playful’ and more towards gruesome. But I can appreciate his visual parallels nonetheless.

Torbjørn Rødland, Cinnamon Roll, 2015.

It does seem like (through my brief day of research) mostly it's the sculptors and photographers having the most fun with teeth. But I’m going to have far more of a conscious eye on it going forwards.

I’ll keep you posted on how my work in studio goes and how I sink my teeth into painting this week.

As I was about to publish this, I was talking to a colleague of mine and on the topic of toffee, teeth, and braces he said:

"Well, I'm English so my teeth were screwed from the start"

...and I think that pretty much sums it up.